Juliette

                                                                         

                                                                                                          

Juliette's daughter Annabelle arrived on New Year's Day.

Here she shares her good birth story…

Annabelle started making her move at 3.30 in the morning, on what would become New Year's Day. It was two weeks after her due date.

I felt pretty strong stomach pains, like really bad period pains, but since I'd been getting those on and off most nights for a few weeks I didn't get particularly interested. 

Then I went to the loo and had the start of a show, so I guessed that this time might be different. 

I was excited and relieved as my husband Rhodri and I had decided that 14 days over was our cut off point, and that was the next day.

The period-like pains got stronger as daylight arrived, but with no pattern or rhythm until that afternoon.  Even so, they were intense and I was glad I'd been prepared for that otherwise I would have taken them much too seriously. 

As it was, I just moved from bedroom, to living room, to bathroom, and tried different distractions and ways to get comfortable.

The breathing was absolutely essential, with all my attention on making my out-breaths really really long. As well as the slow deep breathing, I had been told by my active birth yoga teacher to sprinkle a few drops of lavender on a handkerchief, and breathe it deeply in and out during the contraction. It really worked, and offered a great deal of soothing and comfort when the contractions were happening. The ritual of it - having that thing to do when it came - was just really reassuring. 

I used a birthing ball which was good for resting my upper body on and swaying while kneeling and I did something similar leaning on the bed supported by pillows.  I also spent quite a time on my side in bed, my legs propped with a pillow, and with one to hug and one down my back too. Being able to give way to the support was really helpful - it meant I really  made use of the rests.

At about 3.30 in the afternoon my waters broke.  It really was a gush, following a particularly strong contraction.  From then on the contractions really picked up in strength and pace.  Rhodri called the hospital to let them know, and they aid to stay at home for a couple more hours.

I'd been told to expect this and was ready - by now the contractions were really strong, and I was having to moan. But I knew to follow what they'd said, as that was the way to be sure I was in established labour. 

In any case, it felt good to stay where I was - I retreated to the bathroom,almost instinctively. It felt safe and private, and I just closed my eyes. The more inward I went, the more in control I felt. I  could almost feel how each contraction was changing things around inside me - the baby moving down I guess, and that gave me confidence, stamina in a sense to carry on and trust my body. 

By now, I felt a pretty constant urge to go the the loo, which was another reason I loved the bathroom, and Rhodri just went with that - keeping out of my way, delivering drinks and checking I was comfortable, without disturbing me or making me aware. 

By 5pm things had become incredibly intense and I couldn't focus on anything other than the contractions.  They had picked up pace and there wasn't much of a pause between them.  Plus the pressure in my bottom was getting more and more impossible to ignore.  I'd felt a real urge to have a bath, but by the time we'd run it and I'd got in the contractions were so full on that Rhodri said we had to go.

For a split second I hesitated as I quite wanted to stay put and have the baby there with paramedics. But in the end we went.

We arrived at the hospital at 5.30pm and thankfully it was very quiet. I was so in the zone anyway, breathing and concentrating on what was going on inside me, that  I didn't care.  I was calm in fact, and just remember feeling that I just needed to get on and have my baby.  

We went through to triage, to be assessed, and by this point my legs were shaking so much it was hard to stand. Rhodri told the triage lady that we really needed to go through as I felt the baby was coming any minute.

To our great shock, the woman put down her pen, turned slowly to him and said 'I'll see to her when I've finished her paperwork'.

When I look back now, on what she did, I feel outrage. I was vulnerable, in great need - and her callousness was breathtaking. Given she is the first person, labouring women meet, it seems incredible that a person such as that can even be in such a job. 

If I hadn't felt more confident, I would have felt totally dismissed by her treatment, like I shouldn't trust what I was feeling. Fortunately, she was forced to take notice, when a minute later, a load more water gushed out onto her floor, and she agreed to check.

I was 9cm dilated. We were taken straight to a room with a birthing pool and I got in. Now everything felt back on track, as the midwife we had was lovely and unintrusive. 

After a good hour or so in the pool, trying different positions and feeling relatively relieved from the pressure of each contraction by the water, we decided that I should get out as things weren't really progressing - the baby was as low as could be without crowning but not going further.

As I got out of the pool it became apparent that the baby had done a poo. I briefly knelt resting on a birthing ball but within a few minutes lots of new people were in the room. I was examined and then told that I had to get on the bed as they were worried about her heart rate. 

I did't want to lie back on the bed but was kind of led there. I could feel they were anxious about the baby's heart rate and said they would need to use a suction cup. I said no at first, and then another doctor came in and basically said I had no choice. The midwife more kindly explained that the baby's heart rate was dropping to 90 during contractions, and so we agreed. 

Looking back now, I feel that I was a bit bulldozed. I've since spoken to another obstetrician and they confirmed that the heart rate wasn't extreme and I now find myself wondering whether they could have helped me another way - for example by suggesting another position and at least trying for another few minutes or so. I would recommend to other women, to actually find out what the heart rate could and should be at the point of pushing, as in that situation, when you don't know what you need to, you are very vulnerable. 

We went ahead anyway, had an episiotomy  and with three hard pushes our baby was out.  The feeling when she was arriving was amazing, literally a sensation of pure life. It turned out that she'd had her arm over her face which was probably what stopped things progressing so well.

Overall, my labour and birth felt very positive,  even pleasure. I felt confident and in control - and the only thing I'm left wondering about is to what degree that woman being horrible, and then being told how dilated I was, disturbed that. It's true that you have to be ready for a change of plan - but I do think that continuity, trusting your body's flow and keeping your brain out of it, is the key to it going easily. 

Many women go into hospital from the point where contractions start coming every three minutes, due to misinformation from books and birth education classes.  But counting contractions is not a reliable way of knowing you are in labour. Labour is a state - NOT the amount of contractions you are having.

It is true that contractions need to be coming strongly and regularly every 2 to 3 minutes, but for most women, these need to stay at this rhythm for another couple of hours, which is what the hospital advised Juliette to do, and which is very reliable advice. 

Occasionally, and it really is occasionally, women are in established labour with the first 3 minute interval, but the reason they would and do trust this, is because other things are in evidence too - physical changes, a noticeably altered state.

When a woman is in true labour - that is the state where her body has agreed to open up - she will feel changes over and above the regularity of very strong contractions - something different happening - and partners will see and feel it too:

.  she will instinctively want to retreat from light, open space, any stimulation or disturbance. 
.  she will need to be on all fours or leaning
.  it will feel helpful/even unavoidable to make noise. 
.  she will find herself having to concentrate during the contractions, and also in-between. 
.  she will feel a heaviness in her bottom, like when you need a poo

All these things are an indication that the woman's thinking, rational brain has stepped back, and the deeper, automatic part of her brain responsible for labour is now running the show.  Oxytocin, the petrol that drives labour, is flowing well. 

Juliette paced herself brilliantly - because she knew what to expect. She had no fear, only confidence. She knew that until all the above was in place, she should think of it simply as 

                                                 HER BABY HAVING IDEAS

This phase can be anything from a few hours to a few days.

Once her waters had broken and she'd retreated to the bathroom, only then was she 

                                                              IN LABOUR  

If more women were helped to understand what established labour feels, looks and sounds like, they could set their expectations accordingly. It can feel a tall order to stay at home until labour is established, but if a woman is ready for it, and has in place the right support and a range of comfort measures, most women, regardless of temperament, pain threshold or strength will cope well and labour has an optimal chance of progressing smoothly.