Rachel's baby girl

Rachel's baby girl Evie , her second child, was born a few weeks ago, at home. Here's how it happened.... 

I had very erratic contractions all through Sunday - some 5 mins apart, some 10 and this went on all through the night.  In the early hours, they were becoming more regular and more intense, but did not seem to progress much (particularly when compared to my first daughter’s birth). 

On Monday morning I was in no doubt that the baby was on it's way and we agreed that my husband Jules should take Anna (our 2 year old) to nursery and when he got home he would fill the pool. Once I was on my own, I started having more regular contractions - about 4/5 mins apart that were more intense, but manageable with breathing and bouncing on the birthing ball.  

I rang the midwife around 7.45 am,  she listened in to me having a contraction on the phone and said someone would be with us within the hour to see how things were going. 

By the time Jules got home at 8.40am the contractions were coming thick and fast and were very intense and painful. I was just about coping – leaning over the kitchen work top, a wet flannel pressed to my face, trying to control my breathing and by this stage making quite a few moaning sounds. I was now in no doubt that I was fully in labour!

We were just about to ring the midwife again, when she called. She spoke to Jules, heard me in the background and said a colleague would come right away. By now  I was getting urges to push - Jules was just about to ring 999, when a midwife arrived.  She rushed to get some gloves from her car - and just ten minutes later, Evie was born.

Although it was quick, I did not feel the slightest bit scared (even when the midwife hadn’t turned up) and I'm sure that's because I felt safe and secure. The midwife said how amazing the hormone oxytocin was for getting going, once a woman feels safe and that those precious to her are safe too. And that just felt so true, as the moment I knew my little girl was at nursery, the contractions really went up a gear.

It wasn't what I had planned. I never even got the birthpool filled. But it was nevertheless amazing - I was in my environment, I was in control, I delivered without any pain relief, upright leaning over the dining room table, with Jules telling me how wonderful I was. 

And then of course, there was after...the bliss of being at home - having a shower in my shower, pottering around my house, having a lovely cup of tea and a laugh with the midwives, whilst Evie fed.

I can safely say that the whole experience has really empowered me - I did it by myself and my body knew what to do. I also felt totally relaxed afterwards, as I have ever since - very different to how I felt after staying in hospital last time. 

After the birth of my first daughter, I stayed overnight in hospital, even though the birth was simple. I found this really difficult, being alone, trying to master breastfeeding...Jules had to leave at 10pm and I remember feeling very anxious all through the night - a feeling that  continued for some time when we got home. This time, I have felt totally different .

The icing on the cake to the whole experience was Anna coming home and showering Evie with kisses and showing her all her toys! It was lovely that they met in our home – that evening was very special – the four of us together – as it should be. 

A clever person once said, if you want to know how to do something, copy someone who has done it already. With that in mind, the good birth stories on the tellmeagoodbirthstory blog are for drawing lessons from.  

Positive birth outcomes have just a handful of key factors.... yes all births look different from a distance, but examine them closely and a pattern emerges. There are always, ALWAYS the same things in place. It is true that a small minority of births will always be slow or complicated, no matter what is provided, but that still leaves an immense 80 per cent chance of labour unfolding without difficulty, if we pay attention to what our bodies need. 

In this respect, Rachel's story has lots to teach....she had privacy, she had safety, she had familiarity.....the blessed trinity as far as birth goes. Her plan was to let things start and stay at home if everything was progressing....so she was following her body, not some fixed-in-stone homebirth plan. 

As it was, she did feel things accelerate and in turn trusted that....and then her home setting really yielded benefits. There were no variables, no disruptions, nothing for her labour to snag on. 

The only concern was her daughter, and once she was safe....she could completely let go, her body kicked brilliantly into gear....

And of course finally, the icing on the cake as she calls it, was the joy and reassurance of having her family around her afterwards. 

It's strange that so much focus these days is having our partners with us through the birth, and yet when the baby comes, it's considered normal for him to leave. If you had your baby during the day, and are staying overnight, your partner will almost always be asked to go, and this can be stressful. It's such a very special night, that first night, and yet so often women find themselves feeling alone and at sea. Another good reason for having a baby at home!